"What is she gonna talk about now?"

Basically, I've always been the "fat friend", the "fat cousin", the "fat ____" you fill in the blank. Started gaining when I was young, around 8 or 9 years old. From then on I just kept getting bigger and bigger. I can diet and lose weight, but I can't keep it off by myself. I did this surgery to feel better. To be healthier. To give myself a chance to live longer. I want to know what it feels like to walk the mall without breathing hard and feeling like I'm gonna keel over! I want to ride bikes with my family. I'm going to be successful this time.

Sunday, February 02, 2014

Long Past Due..............

..........for an update. I hit my 6 months post op date in January so thought I better document my progress so far. I'm officially down 102 lbs!! I feel strange because on the scale I see it, in the way my clothes fit I see it, but my head is not grasping that I have lost 100 freaking pounds. LOL! I'm ecstatic, of course, but I sort of feel a numbness that makes me wonder why I'm just not getting it. When will it hit me?? 

Me today, after my workout:

Me 6 months ago:

I can see it here, but when I look in the mirror I see the before still. I suppose I'll catch up one day.

The holidays went better than I expected, although I still made some bad choices along the way. I made some not so good snacking choices and slacked on the protein a little too much, but I'm getting back on track with it and not going to beat myself up over it. I've been dealing with some personal issues as well that has added a TON of stress, which is beating me up at times, but I'm trying to learn to beat back. Hubby lost his job right before Christmas, addiction transference is becoming an issue and lots of stress at work. 

My health has not been bad, just having major hair loss and found out I may have some sort of food allergy that we can't pin down.  I broke out into hives/rashes a couple weeks ago and had to be on prednisone for a few days. I still get welts if I scratch. So itchy and annoying! On daily Zyrtec and cortisone creams.  We lost our insurance since hubby lost his job, but thankfully was able to get on mine after Jan 1st.   I'm meeting my new PCP this coming week. I'm hoping she has some knowledge with WLS, or at can direct me to someone who does. I miss my original bariatric "crew"! 

I will be flying back to the midwest in a couple weeks and am so looking forward to seeing my family and youngest son. He will fly home with me. Oh how I've missed him! I'm hoping I have lost enough weight that I won't need a seatbelt extender on the plane. We will see! 


Sunday, November 17, 2013


Guess it's time to update.

I hit a stall a couple weeks ago and finally broke it today when I dropped to 271. Aahhhh....feels good. I expect the stalls because they are a normal part of the journey but it doesn't make them any less frustrating. Oh well, I'm thankful for this surgery and quickly get over the frustration.

Pouchy is still trying to heal from the ulcer. I'm still having pain so the gastro increased my PPI and had me do a H. Pylori blood test yesterday. Haven't gotten the results yet and am anxious to get them back. 

I've lost more inches because I can now fit into a size 24! That's huge. I started out in a 30/32 so getting to a 24 in 4 months just amazes me. Thank goodness for Goodwill! 

I have been crocheting and working on Christmas shopping. It's one of my favorite times of year, but I have been stressing over all the "goodie opportunities" that are starting to crop up. Halloween came and went with no temptation to eat candy so that's a plus. But I'm now fighting off a little sadness/anxiety over not being able to partake in the usual holiday food explosion. The crocheting and shopping help a little. I'm currently trying to figure out a WLS friendly Thanksgiving menu that the whole family will eat. 

We are sending youngest (20 yr old) son back to the Midwest on 12/7 so he can spend Christmas with the grandparents. He will be there until February. I already miss him! This will be my first Christmas without him and I'm not feeling too happy about that. But what makes up for it is that my parents WILL have him....they are usually alone on Christmas so there is no way I can complain. 

I've had some wonderful coworkers who have given me scrubs they can no longer wear and I could not be more grateful. When I wear clothes that actually fit and are not too baggy from shrinking out of them I get a lot of compliments on how I look. I had one patient who got a little TOO complimentary and actually creeped me out. Ha! I'm still working on how to take the compliments gracefully. Not use to it! 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Pouchy Is Not Completely Happy

So yesterday I found myself in the ER after conversations with my surgeon and the gastroenterologist that she consults with. They did a work up that included an upper endoscopy and lo and behold......I have an anastomotic ulcer. I know I'm lucky that this is the only complication I have had since the surgery in July, but it bums me out that even though I have done all I'm supposed to do --meaning no Nsaids, caffeine, smoking, etc-- I still get a friggin' ulcer. Sigh.....

Ok, over the pity party. Now on to healing Mr. Pouchy. 

They started me on Carafate and omeprazole twice a day to see if this heals over time. I'll make sure to be extra careful with that I'm eating and drinking, although I don't know if I can do anything much different. This concerns me because if I am already not doing or eating things that cause ulcers does that mean I'll be prone to them no matter what? Am I going to be fighting ulcers the rest of my life just because I had this surgery?  Will I get scarring that will cause a stricture? Good grief, I guess I just need to take it as it comes. Pouchy should start feeling better after a week or two they said, otherwise we'll need to look further. 

In other news.....I needed some new shoes and was able to find some really cool ones at the outlets and the biggest excitement was that I did not need a wide width! The silliest thing, but it made me so happy! Also, went to the Old Navy Outlet and was able to fit into their 2X shirts. Bought two long sleeve shirts for $6 and a cute jacket for $15. I have a feeling the smaller I get the more I'm going to love to shop. I have never been able to shop at Old Navy unless it was their online 4X yoga pants. lol  So many people take shopping off the rack for granted. It was a great feeling.

And one of the biggest NSV's I have had so far--I was able to take a bike ride after being unable to for way too long! Got out my Townie and hit the road! I sat comfortably with no pain and felt great afterwards. I'll be taking rides every weekend. I would love to ride during the week but I generally leave when it's dark and get home when it's dark!  Having a full time job really puts a hamper on life. HA!!



Sunday, October 13, 2013

3 Months Later

It's been a bit over 3 months since surgery and here are some of the changes that have been happening:

1) I've lost 74 lbs since my highest weight. Down to 281. Soon I will be the weight on my driver's license. lol I have always put 275 on it, even when I weighed 355. 

2) I tried on and bought a pair of 24W cargo pants at the "Walmarts" yesterday. Unbelievable. Now, I still think these are cut big and probably can't fit into 24Ws in any other brand, but it was exciting all the same. I am coming down from a size 30/32W. 

3) Mixed up bowels. TMI for some, so skip this one if you want. For the first 2 months I was constantly having loose stools and diarrhea. When I hit that 3rd month I stopped. Literally. Now I'm dealing with constipation. Painful constipation! I spent 30 freakin' minutes on the potty one day and it was agonizing. At my 3 month follow up the Internal Medicine bariatric specialist said we could safely add in Benefiber, a stool softener AND Miralax daily. So with all that and upping my water intake I'm hoping things will start moving along better. It's not fun!

4) I am able to shave my legs in the shower again! I have to be careful with dizziness from bending over but I'm physically able to reach down and shave. Loving that!

5) I can pull the steering well in my car in the bottom most position. This is how I prefer to drive, but was unable to for a long time because of big legs and tummy. It's the little things that get me excited. lol

6) I can sit in my office chair at work and pull one leg up under me, which is ultra comfy for me. 

7) I can walk up 2 flights of stairs without being out of breath!

8) A1c is down to 6.0%. Off all insulin and down to 500mg metformin twice a day.

9) Still cannot tolerate chicken breast unless it is done in the crock pot. Chicken thighs, no problem. But darn that chicken breast, every time it causes some pain and nausea.

10) I'm cooking more now than I did before surgery. This is good because it means we are not eating JUNK! I'm actually enjoying cooking new things with fresh ingredients. 

11) The urge to do other things when I'm stressed, sad, mad, etc is really bad the past couple weeks. I'm working on this. 

12) I'm finding bones here and there. My knees are looking a bit knobby. lol 

13) I'm getting way more smiles and "friendlies" from strangers. Some have debated whether or not this is because we fat people are looking more "normal" and therefore the prejudice is lessening. Some think it's because as we gain more confidence we look more approachable. More on what I think about this later!

14) Being on my feet for longer periods does not hurt. My tootsies are breathing a sigh of relief! 

There, that's a start. I forgot to mention the moods are still driving me crazy. I get irritated so much easier and have less tolerance for bullshit. And the breakouts on my face. Damn pimples! 

But there is so much more good stuff and great feelings going on that it makes it all worth it. I'm so happy I had this surgery and even though I'm still a fresh newbie I would say I would do it all over again. My quality of life has gained by leaps and bounds already, I can't even imagine how much better it's going to get!

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Two months out from WLS

And I'm so happy I had this surgery and would do it over again. As of today I have lost a total of 62 lbs, with 38 pounds of that lost just since the surgery. Already, I can walk longer and stand on my feet for longer periods of time without hurting. I can breathe better. I can sleep better. I am excited to get to 100 lbs lost, because I can't even imagine what things I'll be able to do that I have either never been able to, or at least not in a very long time. But I need to cool my jets! One day at a time, Lori. It's a process. 

The emotions are still running wild from the hormone dumping but I noticed the more exercise I get the better I feel. I need to hit the gym more often. I feel like I'm starting to get some energy, too. I am not too tired to cook now when I get home from work and I feel like I can spend more time doing what needs to be done instead of being so tired I just want to sit on the couch or sleep. This is real progress. 

Here is a side by side of me that I just did today. In the black tank it's the day before surgery. In the blue....that's me today. Not a huge difference yet, but I can see it in  my face and upper body. 

  I made this WLS friendly casserole for my lunches this week, plus enough leftover for a meal or two for my guys. Bariatric Foodie is one of my absolute favorite sites for meal and protein shake ideas. She had the surgery herself so she knows what she is talking about! Check her out!

I went to the gym today and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I tried the elliptical a few weeks ago, but could not do over a measly 3 minutes! It looks like so much fun that I can't wait to build up endurance and leg muscles to really get on it and go. I know I should not feel this way but it's embarrassing to get on it and then get off 3 minutes later. I feel like all the athletic people are snickering. Still working on that self esteem issue. ;)

Monday, September 02, 2013

Emotions, NSV's, and Little Bits

Last week I went back to work for the first time after my surgery and was overwhelmed by the reaction I got from my friends and co-workers. Apparently we don't see the change in ourselves as much as others do and last week proved that to me. All positive comments, lots of hugs of congratulations and welcome back. It felt great and meant a lot, but in the same token was a bit overwhelming because I am not used to getting so much attention. I will have to adjust to that from what I have read on other WLS blogs and forums. 

NSV's (non-scale victory) for the past week: 

1) I was able to get up earlier than I did preop and actually take the time to blow out my hair, put on some makeup and, most importantly, eat a healthy breakfast. Before surgery I would shower, let my hair dry naturally and run out the door. I would grab a drive-thru high fat, high calorie breakfast or a Starbucks on the way. Bad, bad girl! I also packed my lunch the night before and ate it instead of eating the lunches we get from the drug reps. 

2) Geekboy (DH) and I went shopping in San Jose yesterday and walked, walked, walked. Normally my feet would be killing me and I'd be pooped out before we even finished. Not this time! And my feet are not even hurting today. This feels really good. I feel like I am starting to live life again instead of watching everyone else live it!

3) I fixed dinner every night after work. Preop I would have been too tired and probably grabbed junk through drive-thru or had Geekboy bring junk to us since he gets home after I do. I think back now and really look at how much junk I was eating and I'm astounded. My poor body being put through that. Ugh! 

One scale victory this week -- I FINALLY broke my 10 day stall. I was not completely freaking out yet because I know they will happen, but I gotta tell ya I was sure getting frustrated! I feel so much better being 3 lbs away from 300 rather than only 1 lb! LOL Ridiculous, I know. 

Hormone dumping also began this week. Holy crap! Happy, sad, pissed off, giddy, crying, wanting to tear someone's head off......it has begun. I'm hoping it doesn't last long! I'm certainly getting a lesson of "breathe and count to 10". 

I made some of these today to have for breakfast this week. Yum! Next I'm going to mix some tuna salad together for my lunches and make Geekboy and I salads for tomorrow night's dinner. I have a support group meeting after work and he will not be home from his work until around 9:00. My salad consists of maybe 5 butter lettuce pieces, 3 ounces grilled chicken and 1 cube of diced reduced fat cheese and fat free dressing. I can't wait to start trying more fresh veggies to add to it, but I can't eat that much yet! 

Here we go into another week............ 


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Back To Work This Week!

I go back on Tuesday. I guess I'm ready to go back. I mean, if I was able to I would love to be able to stay home full time and possibly do some volunteer work, but hey...isn't that everybody's dream? 

I am ready to be busy again, but I'm not ready for getting out of my comfort zone of a routine. This new life of mine post-op is going pretty well and I'm scared that work will be bad for me food wise. I work in a healthcare office and please believe me when I tell you they are the WORST environments for healthy eating. Drug reps constantly bring free lunches and it's mostly crap. Grateful patients will bring all kinds of goodies around the holidays, or just "because".  And the potlucks are filled with yummy, fattening, high calorie fare that no one can resist! This is going to be a true test. Couple that with a stressful environment and it could be disastrous.

I ordered a Bento Box (I got mine in Garden. Cute!)  like the one Michelle uses over at eggface.com because I think it's a brilliant idea for those of us who need that visual of our portion controlled meals. I have my water flavorings, my emergency protein powder and bars and a head full of ideas I can focus on instead of food when the issue comes up. I have established good habits but I'm still having some anxiety over this. Deep breath, Lori. 

On the NSV (non-scale victory) front - I tried on all my scrubs to see what fit and what doesn't. I was thrilled to find out that I can fit into scrubs I have not been able to where in almost 7 years. I look a bit dated but I just don't care....because I can fit them! And they will do until I lose enough to need to actually buy more. I did, however, need to go to the Walmarts and see if I could fit their largest size because I needed a pair of black and a pair of blue since mine in those colors are now way to big. I have never been able to fit into Wally World's scrubs. Today I fit in and bought them in 3X! I'm down from a 5X! I was ecstatic, to say the least. And the bonus is that they only cost $5.96 a pair. What?!