"What is she gonna talk about now?"

Basically, I've always been the "fat friend", the "fat cousin", the "fat ____" you fill in the blank. Started gaining when I was young, around 8 or 9 years old. From then on I just kept getting bigger and bigger. I can diet and lose weight, but I can't keep it off by myself. I did this surgery to feel better. To be healthier. To give myself a chance to live longer. I want to know what it feels like to walk the mall without breathing hard and feeling like I'm gonna keel over! I want to ride bikes with my family. I'm going to be successful this time.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I Do Not Like the Number 3

Only because I distinctly remember the first time I ever saw a 3 as the first number on the scale. Mortified does not even begin to describe what I was feeling. Add to that embarrassed, depressed, disgusted, incredulous. But the worst of all, hopeless. I saw that number and I felt utterly hopeless. I thought, "Well, it's all over now. I have gone too far, there is no hope of ever losing enough weight." And I stupidly self sabotaged my way up the scale.  Instead of getting my head together and taking control, I let that number give me license to eat even more and become even more addicted.

Well, today felt like a MAJOR victory for me on the scale. I weighed in at......299 lbs!! Yeah, I know, it's 1 pound away from the evil number and I could gain it again just from normal post op up and downs. But that's ok! I know I can lose it again because I have already done it! Most of us WLSers celebrate when we get to ONEderland, and I certainly will when that happens! But getting to TWOville feels pretty damn good for now!  

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