I go back on Tuesday. I guess I'm ready to go back. I mean, if I was able to I would love to be able to stay home full time and possibly do some volunteer work, but hey...isn't that everybody's dream?
I am ready to be busy again, but I'm not ready for getting out of my comfort zone of a routine. This new life of mine post-op is going pretty well and I'm scared that work will be bad for me food wise. I work in a healthcare office and please believe me when I tell you they are the WORST environments for healthy eating. Drug reps constantly bring free lunches and it's mostly crap. Grateful patients will bring all kinds of goodies around the holidays, or just "because". And the potlucks are filled with yummy, fattening, high calorie fare that no one can resist! This is going to be a true test. Couple that with a stressful environment and it could be disastrous.
I ordered a Bento Box (I got mine in Garden. Cute!) like the one Michelle uses over at eggface.com because I think it's a brilliant idea for those of us who need that visual of our portion controlled meals. I have my water flavorings, my emergency protein powder and bars and a head full of ideas I can focus on instead of food when the issue comes up. I have established good habits but I'm still having some anxiety over this. Deep breath, Lori.
On the NSV (non-scale victory) front - I tried on all my scrubs to see what fit and what doesn't. I was thrilled to find out that I can fit into scrubs I have not been able to where in almost 7 years. I look a bit dated but I just don't care....because I can fit them! And they will do until I lose enough to need to actually buy more. I did, however, need to go to the Walmarts and see if I could fit their largest size because I needed a pair of black and a pair of blue since mine in those colors are now way to big. I have never been able to fit into Wally World's scrubs. Today I fit in and bought them in 3X! I'm down from a 5X! I was ecstatic, to say the least. And the bonus is that they only cost $5.96 a pair. What?!
"What is she gonna talk about now?"
Basically, I've always been the "fat friend", the "fat cousin", the "fat ____" you fill in the blank. Started gaining when I was young, around 8 or 9 years old. From then on I just kept getting bigger and bigger. I can diet and lose weight, but I can't keep it off by myself. I did this surgery to feel better. To be healthier. To give myself a chance to live longer. I want to know what it feels like to walk the mall without breathing hard and feeling like I'm gonna keel over! I want to ride bikes with my family. I'm going to be successful this time.